Looking for a saucy rendezvous without the awkward morning chat? Pull up a chair and meet Sir Squirts-a-Lot, your new posh (and slightly naughty) bedside companion.
How Does One Handle Such a Distinguished Gentleman? Well, it's quite simple, love:
- Give those 'royal jewels' a gentle pinch.
- Submerge just the tip (mind your manners!) into your preferred liquid – but let’s be clear, no Earl Grey.
- Gently release, and let Sir Squirts-a-Lot have a drink. Ready for the grand finale? A squeeze to his family jewels and voilà!
The Down-Low on this Upper-Class Chap:
- Total Length: 6.69 inches (so close to being risqué).
- Insertable Length: 4.72 inches.
- Diameter: 1.2 inches.
- Circumference: a gentlemanly 3.7 inches.
- Weight: A light 277g - he's been watching his figure.
- Material: Premium PVC – the crème de la crème for your naughty bits.
- Safety: No dodgy stuff here – EU REACH compliant and all.
Why Sir Squirts-a-Lot Is Your Cup of Tea:
- Ejaculating feature? Think of it as the Buckingham Fountain of dildos.
- Crafted with love, cheek, and an obsessive focus on the 'downstairs' details.
- Our PVC is so top-notch, it might as well have its own spot on the luxury aisle.
- Rock-solid suction cup base, sturdier than a Brit's upper lip.
- Waterproof for those "splish-splash I was taking a bath" moments.
- Jolly good with the Sexy Emporium strap-on.
- Spiffing in the safety department: non-toxic and hypoallergenic.
- Ships in discreet packaging – your little secret's safe from the nosy Nellies.
For a smashing experience, pair with some water-based lubricant. After the fun, a bit of a wash, and he's ready for the next waltz!